just give me my birth control

Steve King is a bad, bad man.

Steve King. Terrible.

If I must rant, my rants are usually relegated to Twitter.Because 140 characters is generally all the rage I can muster before I start huffing and puffing and losing steam completely. And I usually end up sounding like a total idiot anyway. But Steve King, you have inspired me to make an exception.

Don't know who Steve King is? I wish no one did. I wish he didn't exist.

Steve King is a Republican (big surprise) Congressman from Iowa, a 62-year-old white man (Wikipedia!) who thinks he knows what's best for women of all ages and races. For all of civilization. This man thinks that the [commendable] Affordable Care Act's provisions to fully cover preventive women's health, including contraceptives and testing for cervical cancer, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, will prevent babies from being born and create a dwindling civilization.

Oh, and he doesn't want people who aren't sexually active or past reproductive age, or priests who are celibate to have to shoulder the financial burden of increased insurance premiums because all those floozies out there who do take advantage of those benefits can't keep their legs closed.

How philanthropic. I MEAN GOD.


I sat staring at my phone on the bus ride home. My jaw dropped when I read what he'd said in the Huffington Post — though the pitcher of sangria I'd just polished off may have had something to do with how long it hung open.

Here's an idea, Steve-O: If you don't want women to have to worry about birth control or diseases, maybe you could invest more in sex ed. Or fund more initiatives for childcare and programs that will keep kids out of trouble as they grow up so their moms will be able to maintain jobs that will support their families.

Or. OR. Just teach men in our society to respect women, learn that no means no, and if the answer is yes, to wrap it the hell up. Even if it doesn't feel quite as good.

Sex is going to happen, Steve King, whether you like it or not. You can't legislate it, though you can have fun trying.

But wait — good GOD! I see your point, sir. More babies IS THE ANSWER!

If women maintain control (or regain, depending on your perspective) over their bodies, there will be fewer people to brainwash into going overseas and killing people to protect our "freedom" or standing at the border and stopping illegal immigrants from coming into our country for a better life! Fewer babies who could be born gay and get married and — oh, wait, that might not be so bad, right? That, apparently, is a risk he's willing to take. Steve King believes everyone — well, white men like himself, anyway — should be able to own a gun to "protect themselves," but that women shouldn't be able to choose to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies. Does. Not. Compute.

Let's recap, Stevie:

The morning-after pill? Not the same as abortion. Giving women access to contraceptives? Not going to destroy our civilization.

You know what it will do? It will make our lives better. Because if more women have access to birth control, it means more of the babies who ARE born will join families that can support them financially and emotionally, and contribute to society more meaningfully. Unwanted children are a huge burden on the government and — surprise, surprise — on taxpayers. There are always trade-offs.

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MAN. And you have three children, for God's sake. Are any of them girls? What planet are you from? How do you not get this?!

It boggles my mind that people who think like this — there are women who are this backward, too! — are even allowed outside their homes to buy groceries, let alone elected to public office where they supposedly represent the interests of their constituents.

You, Mr. King, and people like you are the reason so many people hate this country. You and everyone like you are the reason I am so often embarrassed to be American. You and all the people who go to foreign countries and think that yelling at the server in English at an escalating volume will get your food to your table more quickly. The United States claims to be a superior culture on so many levels, and damn. It is just not true.

Yes, I just made that leap. And I'm going to stand by it.

This country is being overtaken by lunatics. And it's all I can do to keep from going crazy myself.