Oh, hello. First of all, I...
Okay, no, wait. FIRST of all, thank you all so much for reading my post yesterday. I'm pretty sure that besides the breastfeeding fiasco of 2010, yesterday's post got the most hits I've ever had in a single day. The comments and other feedback I got on that post really made me want to keep writing at a time I'm otherwise finding it difficult even to get out of bed. So. Thanks.
Second of all, I guess, I read this just now: a New York Times blog featuring a letter from a Father in Florida talking about all his regrets about having children. I won't read the comments because I know people will judge him. So hard.
His honesty is so heartbreaking. I know I want to be a parent at some point. When I finished Gilmore Girls and finally stopped crying, I started watching Parenthood for my Lauren Graham fix, and it shows all the sides of parenting that Father in Florida hasn't seen yet. (Maybe he never will.) They say you know when you're ready to have kids, that the idea of childbirth won't make you break into hives and you just...know. So I guess this nagging fear that I'll never do anything I dream of doing — like drive a semi cross-country for a year then write a book about it (the big truck stops have shower-credit vending machines, for God's sake) — means I'm not ready yet. Besides the fact that, you know, I can barely keep a houseplant alive and I start crying when my cat bounces off the walls. And that I haven't had a relationship last more than two years.
That's all. You should read that blog.
Here's an awkward segue: I happened to catch that blog link randomly from my Twitter. I'm so busy at work now and so caught up in my own life that the only things I do end up reading are links I click when I happen to glance at my timeline and see something underlined. Sometimes it's a cat Tumblr. Sometimes it's a really inappropriate video. And sometimes it's actually not something I wanted to read at all. What I'm saying is I know I have a lot of friends who blog. And a lot of them are coming to this site, reading the pieces I spend hours writing and maybe even leaving comments. I am essentially ignoring all their hard work — and missing out on an important part of their lives — and I hate it.
So this is a call to action (!!!) post. I unsubscribed from all the cooking blogs I wasn't using the recipes from (I just eat Thai takeout and pizza anyway), got rid of the gardening blogs from my past professional life (see above re: killing houseplants) and nixed the interior decorating blogs. Because despite not being ready for a child, I am nesting like you wouldn't believe, and seeing sofas I can't afford day after day just makes me want to do. So I am updating my Google Reader. If you blog, please leave a link in the comments.
If you think I'm already reading your blog...chances are it's been way too long, and I could use a reminder. I know a lot of really talented people and want to keep up. I need coattails to ride.
Anyway, I love you all and hope you'll help me out with some of this legwork. And if you link here, maybe other people will see it, too?