Upon entering Kaze Sushi:
Me, surveying the empty dining room early on a Friday evening: "Can two of us sneak in for dinner?"
The host, feeling important: "Do you have a reservation? No? Hmmm, let me look. Oh, gosh. I don't know."
Host: "All right. I mean, you're not planning on staying that long, right?"
Me, exchanging meaningful glances with my dinner companion: "Well, we're not going to run out as soon as we finish our tuna, but we won't be here all night."
Jerk. There are other ways to handle a walk-in, sweetheart. I couldn't tip less because of you, but you just lost your restaurant a star. I hope you remember what you did.
Server, to another table: "Would you like sparkling, still or tap water?"
Bored child, perplexed by chopsticks: "Actually, I'd prefer a straw."
God. Damn. BRILLIANT.
Really, though, in addition to a terrible first impression, I went into Kaze with massive expectations that fell far short in execution. The decor is lovely, very soft and white-tablecloth classy — except that the cloths were covered in butcher's paper that the above bored child scrawled angry drawings all over — with delicate flowers along the windows and behind the bar. The orchid by our table was shriveled into oblivion. Flowers: good idea, bad execution. Just like our food.
I had a great glass of Oregon Pinot Gris and loved my friend's special roll, with soft-shell crab and salmon. But that's where it ends.
Our edamame was bland; the spicy tuna tartare, wrapped in avocado and served with shrimp, cream cheese and chive spring rolls, was fussy and over-the-top; my negi hamachi roll was a yawner; and my special roll, spicy mango and tuna topped with unagi and shrimp, was...well, it was just wrong.
Five Yelp stars to me for trying eel, but ugh. Bad roll. Bad.
After MY experience at Kaze, I was ready to kick that self-important host in the head and move on with my life. I'll stick to the cheaper, more delicious and CLOSER Tank Sushi next time.